Updated: Jun 2, 2020
Sometimes when the migraines hit hard I can get very introspective. I analyse things too much and seem to unlearn all the things that help me cope and stay resilient. I try to find moments of movement and breath to return me to my inner wisdom but it can be hard under the weight of a five or six day pain episode.
I find myself today trying to figure out my strategy for all my efforts with the CBT therapy, mindfulness and yoga threads. These sutras… seem clear on some days yet they get tangled on others. What I know to be true is that I want a better deal for all of my brothers and sisters who find themselves marginalised no matter why. Therapy shouldn’t be only available for the financially comfortable, yoga shouldn’t be only available to thin bodies, mindfulness shouldn’t only in fancy studios and health retreats for those who are afforded time to think about their dreams and aspirations. How to we bring the knowledge and wisdom of wellness to the guy struggling to cope with addiction, or the woman who lost her husband and has been isolated for years, or the family who need the help of the crisis food bank just to make it through the week, or the bigger bodied individual who experienced trauma as a youngster and has never been able to figure out true recovery.
Am I doing enough? Do I need to go back to the drawing board and create something else, something more?
There is so much advice and guidance about reaching your ‘audience’. Social marketing strategies, youtube channels, podcast productions, blogging and posts galore… I feel overwhelmed by it all sometimes and I don’t have enough expendable cash to hire some IT whizz who can help me create something accessible. There are workshops, handy hits and constant invitations to sign up and subscribe to so many different experts but the landscape is so vast that it makes my head hurt!
It isn’t and has never been about making money… I have probably invested thousands in becoming a CBT therapist, then a few more to study to be a yoga teacher, with a few other courses in Supervision and Teaching thrown in. I am okay with it not making me rich, it was never my intention. I want to change things… I am changing things… I can feel it when I work as a therapist or when I hear from a yoga student about self acceptance. It works… but it doesn’t feel enough.
I’m not okay with knowing there are people who feel they are not the ‘chosen ones’ when they are. I choose you, I’m just not sure how to get to you. I want you to know that you are good enough, deserving, worth it… but I know that until you step towards real meaningful support, your relationship with you is probably the most destructive one you have. How can I help you unravel the knots of the past and weave something new. That is what I want for you. Not to continue, not ensure, not survive, but flourish, excel, become everything you want to be.
Maybe its just a rough few days… maybe I’ll figure out how to move forward and work smarter not harder.
If you or anyone you know can help me figure some of this out – please get in touch. I would love to hear from you. Help me bring all this support and help to every corner of our communities.
Peachy love xxx